Alice Weaver

Perhaps most Brown County residents remember Alice Weaver as the reigning queen of the Ferguson House. Some called her the “old stuff lady” because the Ferguson House was a crowded accumulation of all kinds of stuff, including a skeleton.

Alice had perfected the calculated art of shocking strangers with her unexpected comments. She delighted in pushing the limits of propriety. She would overhear customers commenting on some odd item in her collection, then shout out some insulting comment to get their attention. Then with a straight face, wait to see their stunned reaction to her unexpected remarks. She may have sometimes pushed the limits of her remarks too far, but never so far that she thought an apology necessary.

I’m sure she knew when she had gone too far. Her apologies came in the form of anonymous gestures of generosity in giving others a boost when it was needed. Alice had a gift of helping new young people become a part of the community. She would make friends with them and be their champion for a while, and then appear to let them go out of favor with her, as she found a new couple to be her target.

In the late 1940s, a year or two after we had come to Brown County, I got a call from Alice to do a little interior carpentry work at her home near town. As she let me in the door, two huge dogs had to be restrained until we got acquainted. She also had a Myna bird. The house had a slight zoo aroma from the inside pets.

After things settled a little, she showed me the small projects at hand. I brought my tools in to do the job and the Myna bird squawked, “I’m a democrat” It kept repeating its political affiliation several times an hour. Every time I brought something into the house the same political statement would greet me.

I spent two enjoyable days with Alice as I completed my jobs for her. She pried information from me as to why my wife and I came to Brown County. I discovered Alice and her husband Dick had lived in the town of Pendleton, Indiana, where I had lived before moving to Brown County. I had never met them while living there, but I did remember my parents speaking of this “interesting couple” that rented from one of my parent’s friends. I recalled their name being the Weavers.

Alice continued to test me with some of her insults as I worked, in order to get my reaction. It was her way of introducing herself to me, and a test of whether we were going to be friends. Her method was direct and devoid of the niceties of manners. It suited her personality, and for her, it worked.

I gathered my tools to take to the truck after completing the job. Alice followed me to the truck. After closing the door, Alice gave me some advice I’ll never forget

“You know Hank, there are just two kinds of people in this world,” she said.

I’d think there would be more than that. “What do you mean, just two?”

“Well, there are the wadders and the folders,” she said.

“Alice, I don’t get it.”

“You’ve got to go to the bathroom first,” she said. “There are those who fold the paper, and there are those who paw it off the roll into a wad.”

“I believe you’re on to something there,” I said.

“And I’ve got you pegged as a folder,” Alice said, looking me in the eye for my reaction.

“You know Alice, you’re right, and I’ve got you pegged as a wadder,” I answered.

After that exchange Alice and I understood each other and I considered her my friend as long as she lived.

Another young couple had just moved to the county, Dick and Sally Speelmon. Dick was an attorney, and served as the commissioners’ attorney for a while. The Speelmons were her favorites until another young couple came under her spell. Eldon and Sherry Ploetz moved to the county because Eldon had been chosen to manage the bank for the new owner who had purchased the Nashville State Bank—the only bank in town.

I happened to be in the bank one day when Alice came in. She looked at the new young bank president and his wife and said in her loud voice, “Oh, Lord, save us. They sent us a couple of kids to run the bank.” After that illustrious introduction, Eldon and Sherry were her favorites until the next young couple came to her attention.

Alice was but one of many provocative, non-conforming citizens I have known, that make Brown County such a stimulating place to live. All communities have interesting people, but our county has been blessed with more than its share. I find this abundance of diversity very satisfying.

The editor of Our Brown County limits the space of my monthly feature, Since Alice has designated me as a folder, I guess it’s time to fold.